It’s been ageeees since I’ve posted here and I’m not even sure Ian still wants my light-hearted bitterness spilt freely over his mighty blog like Jif Lemon sprayed over a filthy toilet in an embarrassing yet understandable confusion. But fuck it, new year’s as good a time as any to start blogging again and my blog seems to have been bummed in the gob.
Well, January’s traditionally a time for looking back over the previous year, if not the previous night, with a sense of faint regret. I for one regret that it looks like Dan Brown’s going to get away with The DaVinci Code, since the Catholic church apparently “don’t do fatwas”. But let’s not be so negative. There’s been lots of good things happen, for one Ian’s job’s taken him to the other side of a country I often feel is far too small, and I mean that in a nice way, darling. I’ve also discovered Doctor McNinja, the finest webcomic I’ve read since Dragonball was translated into farts and homosexuality on a website I can’t be bothered to look up. And in what seemed suspiciously like a rush on Bush’s part to make good on some of last year’s resolutions before Auld Lang Syne, we’ve seen a middle – eastern dictator hanged – on cameraphone, no less – and turned into what is surely the world’s most widely distributed snuff film. I can’t help but think it’s a shame we didn’t have camera phones to record Clinton’s major achievements, I think they’d be in much better taste.
And after scientific trials, I can honestly say Monica Lewinsky’s easier to masturbate to than Saddam’s execution.