Munich and Jarhead: same region, different BS

I went to the cinema twice last week. The first film was Spielbergs new effort; Munich. it’s a “fictional story, based on real events” that follows the aftermath of the 1972 Olympics crisis in which 11 Israeli athletes were killed. It was a good film, the pace was keen as the main character was plunged into the world of international terrorism. All the household favourites were there; The PLA, CIA, Red Army Faction, Mossad, HMV Megastores (okay, I lied about the last one) and it was an intriguing story as to how everyone was always trying to work out who they were dealing with. The main character was allocated a team of ‘experts’ and sent into Europe to kill the men behind the Munich plan. In struggling to do this, the main character ended up doing things towards the end of the film that you would not of thought possible at the start. There was a great deal of death and destruction, as one might imagine dealing with terrorists. However one part just left me thinking; “What the hell have I just watched?” It was a scene that quickly flicked back between one lot of footage to another. The first was of a couple making babies. Fair enough right? But that was combined with the pretty horrific gunning down of a load of Israelis at point blank range and as the guy climaxed, the final bullets tore through the remaining Israelis. I mean, i don’t mind graphic depictions of sex, i don’t mind graphic depictions of violence, but both at the same time? Not entirely sure what Spielburg was trying to do there. Unsuprisingly the film didn’t even attempt to address the suffering of the Palestinians. I’m not sure if it was the right time or the place, but lets be honest; it’s a Spielburg film. He was never even going to bother was he?

War is hell ‘eh? Talking of hell; Jarhead. The tagline for this film was ‘Welcome to the suck’ and it couldn’t of been more accurate. The best parts of it were lifted directly from Apocalypse Now. The film can be split into emotionally unstable crying men. The first bit was ‘This job sucks’, then ‘Does my girlfriend love me?’, followed by ‘The desert is so boring!’, ‘My girlfriend is a slag!’ and then finally ‘This sucks! I came all this way and didn’t get the chance to shoot any Ay-rabs!’ and a bit of ‘We’ve come home, my life is boring’. I found it hard to be sympathetic. It’s like the MTV generation hits Vietnam!

I’m sure there are young marines out there suffering in the desert, but I’m not sure they were represented properly by this film. There wasn’t even any exciting gun battles or any exciting erm, anything. I was only kept awake by the light relief provided by the questionably inbred antics of Pvt. Fowler “Hey, look! It’s a cock, but smaller!” It was long as well. The film, not the cock. Boring but at the end of the film I chanted “U-S-A! U-S-A!”. Maybe thats the demographic they’re aiming for?

Next film i watch is going to be about fluffy bunnys or something. I’ve had my fill of human misery for a while.


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